We Still Live

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By Sara Dobie Bauer

Publisher Description

Running from a scandal that ruined his life, Isaac Twain accepts a teaching position at Hambden University where, three months prior, Professor John Conlon stopped a campus nightmare by stepping in front of an active shooter.

When John and Isaac become faculty advisors for the school's literary magazine, their professional relationship evolves. Despite the strict code of conduct forbidding faculty fraternization, they delve into a secret affair—until Simon arrives.

Isaac's violent ex threatens not only their careers, but also John's life. His PTSD triggered, John must come to terms with that bloody day on College Green while Isaac must accept the heartbreak his secrets have wrought.

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4 Reviews

4.0

reading_ismyjam

Created over 3 years ago

Kayla

Created almost 5 years ago

“I was provided an ARC on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. First, I'm just going to put it out there that this read like a straight woman writing a male/male romance, which sort of rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not sure if the author identifies as straight, so that may be presumptuous of me but the last page did say she was an "ally with a hunky husband" so there's that. I don't read very much m/m romance, so maybe this is just how they all read and maybe that means it's not for me because wow, this hit all the stereotypes. I'd like to read a few novels from own-voices authors before I judge this book entirely though. Now let's talk about some positives. Sara Dobie Bauer is definitely an excellent writer. I enjoyed her story-telling and the cast of characters she introduced throughout. This centers around Isaac and John, but it's not always about their romance with each other. From the summary, I'm sure you can tell that this is also a story about something much deeper than that, gun violence and mass shootings. I think that aspect of the story was handled well and I feel like the author did at least some surface-level research about how experiencing this trauma can deeply impact victims. I can't speak to that myself, because luckily I've never been in a similar situation, but there were characters throughout the story who thought the discussion of this shooting should be handled drastically different than others and it was an interesting discussion. Unfortunately, that's about all I liked. The pacing of this book felt way off to me. I was slogging through the first 75% and I absolutely would have DNF'ed it if I hadn't needed to submit a review. One of the main issues that's hovering over Isaac throughout the first 25% was his ex, Simon. This next bit may be a bit spoilery, so if you'd like to avoid any sort of spoiler, skip to the next paragraph. Simon shows up and threatens to out Isaac and John so they get fired from their jobs but then all of a sudden just has a change of heart and disappears, never to be heard from again. What?? He physically assaults John and all of a sudden just goes 'Okay, I'll leave you both alone now. Bye.' It was just so extremely rushed and resolved too perfectly. I kept expecting him to come back but he never did. I also didn't like how John and Isaac's relationship started. It felt a bit, for lack of a better word, icky. It just seemed like Isaac was sort of taking advantage of John who had just experienced a traumatic episode. I understand everyone deals with their trauma differently though, so I can't judge too harshly. However, I just could never get behind their relationship because of the way it started. In conclusion, this book wasn't for me. However, there are loads of 4 to 5 star reviews on Goodreads so I seem to be an outlier here. If you're in the right headspace for a darker m/m romance, maybe give this one a try. In the meantime, I'll be researching some own-voices m/m romances to read next.”

Char

Created almost 5 years ago

“We Still Live is the most timely and topical book I've read in a long time. Isaac accepts a teaching position, restarting his life and trying to leave behind the mess he's created. He meets John, a young teacher, and writer.. and the hero who stood nose to nose with a shooter on campus. They begin working together on a literary magazine that they hope will help people to process the tragedy that happened. In the process of working together, they become involved. The problem is that there are things in both men's pasts that they don't reveal. Trauma is definitely a theme in this book. Both main characters have experienced things that have a lasting effect on their spirits. John was a witness to a shooting at the school. People were killed, the shooter ultimately killed himself and John faced up to him in the last moments of his life. What I appreciated about this book is that the story isn't really about the people who lost their lives in the shooting, it's also about the people who survived. I was reminded of my days working with the HIV/AIDS community. We lost many people: friends, lovers, family, colleagues and it was years before we would realize the trauma and weight of being the one who lived. John is dealing with a couple of things in the novel. Early on it becomes clear that he is dealing with mental illness as a result of his involvement in the shooting. He's also become known as the hero who stood in front of the shooter and spoke to him. But what exactly did he say? What were the final words that the shooter heard? The events of that tragic day have left John a changed man. Once an award-winning writer, he's no longer writing, he struggles under the impact of horrendous nightmares, he doesn't seem to trust himself. On the other hand, Isaac's trauma is about living a life that was false and the results when it came out. (Pardon the pun). Isaac had been married to a woman for years... and dating a man. He was ashamed to be his authentic self and it wore him down to the point at which he revealed his feelings to his wife, divorced and ... ran. It took a lifetime to build up the shame and fear that caused Isaac to run towards a new life and the darkness trails along behind him in the guise of a cell phone constantly revealing text messages from his past. Coming out was a traumatizing event for Isaac. Maybe he handled it wrong, maybe he spent years not even aware of the impact his secret life was having on others... either way... his new start is still tainted by his past. The two main characters are each fighting their own battle not to drown in the world around them. John is haunted by the events of the day of the shooting as he struggles to try and appear as normal as possible. Isaac knows that the past in on his trail even as he relishes his first months as a gay man living life and falling into a relationship with a colleague. I think, for me, the characters seemed to both be trying to make something new out of what happened to them in the past. They are both recreating themselves in different ways, but I found them to be very authentic. These two men are trying to take tragedy and loss and build on that shaky foundation to begin their lives anew. It just isn't working quite the way that they hope it will. I think John's journey over the course of this story touched me the most. When he is introduced in the novel, outwardly he seems as though he's okay which I think is a very real front that people put up when they are most in need of help. For some reason, Isaac and he share a connection when they meet. I wondered if the author was intending for it to seem as though, perhaps, the two men could sense the broken within each of them. I am a believer that sometimes we find people when we need them. This is a well-written novel with great characters. The pace of the growing closeness between John and Isaac felt very authentic. I also really came to enjoy a lot of the supporting characters. Tommy is John's best friend. He's caring and sweet, and I loved the way he tried gently to support John through his bouts with PTSD. I also really enjoyed how protective Tommy was when Isaac came into the picture. It's lovely to see such a genuine relationship between a straight man and a gay written realistically. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes a plot with heavier, realistic themes running through it. Because of the intensity of some of the vents in this novel, I would suggest reading the warnings before you begin it. This is the first time that I've read a book in which the focus has been the people who survive a tragedy like this... I suspect there are a lot of people who might need to read it.”

Teal Wolf

Created almost 5 years ago

“We Still Live by Sara Dobie Bauer is a standalone, contemporary M/M romance with a friends-to-lovers theme. This book deals with violence, hurt and comfort, mental illness and other hard topics. It gripped me from the start and kept me interested and invested. The characters feel real and raw, with imperfections, scars and insecure feelings. Isaac and John are well developed characters that pull you into their world and make you feel apart of it. John is dealing with the aftermath of tragic events that happened the year before while Isaac is running from his past mistakes and trying to find a new beginning. Sadly the past has a way of haunting you.. in John's case that is psychological and emotional while for Isaac it's a physical presence that tries to disrupt what he is building of a new life. Their connection was strong and beautiful. The story has angst, drama, pain... it's about learning to live on, learning to forgive yourself and let yourself heal. Its emotional and wonderful. The story is well written, emotional and the kind that sticks with you even after you read the final page. I received an advanced reader's copy of the book and I am voluntarily leaving my honest review and recommendation.”