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By Naomi Kanakia

Publisher Description

In this queer contemporary YA, perfect for fans of Becky Albertalli and This Is Kind of an Epic Love Story, Nandan’s perfect plan for junior year goes awry after he hooks up with a guy for the first time.

Nandan’s got a plan to make his junior year perfect, but hooking up with his friend Dave isn’t part of it—especially because Nandan has never been into guys.

Still, Nandan’s willing to give a relationship with him a shot. But the more his anxiety grows about what his sexuality means for himself, his friends, and his social life, the more he wonders whether he can just take it all back.

Is breaking up with Dave—the only person who’s ever really gotten him—worth feeling “normal” again?

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10 Reviews

2.5

Alancia_Lanee

Created about 1 month ago

Characters change and growDiverse charactersMulti-layered charactersDescriptive writingOriginal writingFast-pacedRealistic settingComing of ageFeel goodRomantic

Jenny

Created over 1 year ago

“This is not what I was expecting when I bought this book”

Siriface

Created over 1 year ago

Bonnie Zimmermann

Created over 1 year ago

Rhys 🏳️‍⚧️

Created almost 2 years ago

“I bought this book last year because of reading the synopsis in stores, without looking at reviews. If I had looked at reviews, I definitely would have not picked this book up. I decided to pick this up because of a challenge I'm doing on my TikTok of reading the lowest or highest-rated book on my LGBTQ physical TBR shelf. This so happened to be the lowest-rated book (and the first one in my mini-series). Yeah, safe to say this first one is a fail. I DNF'ed it at 50 pages, which is roughly 20% in. Why? I'll be describing it. From further on, my review will have quotes from the book, so if you want to read this book, I would suggest not looking further if you don't want to see quotes. Before I get into the nit-picky things I have wrong with this book, I know this book is not meant for me. This is a YA book with a high school-aged protagonist who is also Indian-American. I am a white (passing) trans-gay man. I know this book is not for me, but there are some things in here (from what I read) that I think should be brought up. Take my review with a GRAIN OF SALT. The quote on page 50 that made me decide I had enough is partly a text conversation, part MC thought: "Avani: Doing my nails. Me: Lol, such a girl. Avani: Hey, that was a microaggression. Me: Whatever, keep your cissexism to yourself. Avani: I meant it was a microaggression because the term hewed to the gender binary. Me: I hewed your mom last night. Avani: Gross. Me: Ageist. Our school was hella liberal, and we'd had assemblies on all the politically correct terminology. Avani loved to make fun of it all, but you could tell she sort of believed it." I'm sorry, you are making fun of Avani because she wants to not offend non-cisgender folks? So, since she is being conscious about not being transphobic, she is suddenly worth making fun of? Maybe she believes the terms because she's not an asshole. I saw a few reviews before I started reading that brought up some problematic things relating to talking about women. And they are right, my god. There were so many things within the first 50 pages that are borderline misogynistic. The way that Nandan and his friends talked about women was frankly disturbing to read. Example: "Nandan, this is an intervention. You cannot keep trying to hang out with her."('ex'-girlfriend they are talking about) '"Avani made you lazy," Pothan said. "She was a decent start, but you got lucky, bro. Admit it, you got lucky."' 'He grabbed me around the middle while Ken glowered at us. "That's cool, bro. You've gotta have some fun. Not every girl is closable."' '"Nandan's probably peed out there a hundred times. He's no different from the rest of us. You are way too easy on him, Jess." "Whoa, whoa, whoa," I said. "Too mean." (sorry bro that's not mean, that's just facts. Cis men peeing in public wherever is gross) (this is about a bisexual character that I found to be a little weird? not needed? IDK, I just found this paragraph to not be needed since the MC is just a dick) "Carrie was the same. Though for her it'd been harder. When she'd told people she was bisexual, they'd thought she only wanted attention, but ever since getting with Gabriela, the Holy Redeemer girl, she'd slowly formed her own unique reputation." These are just a few things in the first 50 pages, on top of the quote above for why I DNF'ed. The way the MC also thinks of sexuality after having sex (not in detail, it's described but sort of in a euphemism) with Dave (the love interest) is not that fun. There is an undertone of internalized homophobia that I just could not deal with reading another 220 pages of. I've seen reviews say that Nandan uses his sexuality (when he does come out) almost as a weapon to get close to girls and be in sleepovers. I'm sorry? WHAT?! No, do not use your sexuality as a weapon to invade safe spaces for teenage girls. This is also just a sloppy written book. There were no redeeming qualities in the writing. It was bad. Also, may I just say that underage teen drinking and drugs was excessive. God almighty. Anyway, I saw a review ( https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3231933014?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1 ) bring up the possibility of Nandan being a trans bi girl, and the 50 pages I read make that identity the most sense over being a queer (?) cis boy. Since I didn't finish the book, I have no clue what else happens. But as a trans person, there are undertones of the possibility of being trans or at least having dysphoria. Alright, goodbye. I'm gonna go reread a favourite or finish one of my CR that is actually good and not harming the LGBTQ community :)”

About Naomi Kanakia

Naomi Kanakia has written three young adult novels. She also has some forthcoming books for adults, and her essays, short stories, and poetry have appeared all over the place. She grew up in Washington, DC, and she currently lives in San Francisco with her wife and daughter.