This Is What It Feels Like

This tender story of friendship, music, and ferocious love asks: what will you fight for, if not yourself? You Don’t Know Me But I Know You author Rebecca Barrow’s next book is perfect for fans of Katie Cotugno and Emery Lord.

Who cares that the prize for the Sun City Originals contest is fifteen grand? Not Dia, that’s for sure. Because Dia knows that without a band, she hasn’t got a shot at winning. Because ever since Hanna’s drinking took over her life, Dia and Jules haven’t been in it. And because ever since Hanna left—well, there hasn’t been a band.

It used to be the three of them, Dia, Jules, and Hanna, messing around and making music and planning for the future. But that was then, and this is now—and now means a baby, a failed relationship, a stint in rehab, all kinds of off beats that have interrupted the rhythm of their friendship.

But like the lyrics of a song you used to play on repeat, there’s no forgetting a best friend. And for Dia, Jules, and Hanna, this impossible challenge—to ignore the past, in order to jump start the future—will only become possible if they finally make peace with the girls they once were, and the girls they are finally letting themselves be.

Can one last shot at a battle of the bands contest be the thing that finally brings them back together?

• Second Chance Friendship: It used to be Dia, Jules, and Hanna against the world. Now, they’re practically strangers. But the rhythm of a lifelong friendship is a hard thing to forget.
• Books About Bands: A fifteen-thousand-dollar prize is on the line, but for this fractured band, the real prize is getting back on stage together—if they don’t fall apart first.
• LGBTQ+ Representation: As the band gets back together, Jules finds herself falling for Autumn, the new girl at work with rainbow hair and a smile that could change everything.
• Found Family: A story about three girls bound by music, torn apart by life, and the ferocious love that might be the only thing that can make them a band—and a family—again.