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3.5
Notes to John
ByPublisher Description
An extraordinary work from the author of The Year of Magical Thinking and An extraordinary work from the author of The Year of Magical ThinkingThe Year of Magical Thinking and
Blue Nights
Blue NightsBlue Nights
In November 1999, Joan Didion began seeing a psychiatrist because, as she wrote to a friend, her family had had “a rough few years.” She described the sessions in a journal she created for her husband, John Gregory Dunne.
For several months, Didion recorded conversations with the psychiatrist in meticulous detail. The initial sessions focused on alcoholism, adoption, depression, anxiety, guilt, and the heartbreaking complexities of her relationship with her daughter, Quintana. The subjects evolved to include her work, which she was finding difficult to maintain for sustained periods. There were discussions about her own childhood—misunderstandings and lack of communication with her mother and father, her early tendency to anticipate catastrophe—and the question of legacy, or, as she put it, “what it’s been worth.” The analysis would continue for more than a decade.
Didion’s journal was crafted with the singular intelligence, precision, and elegance that characterize all of her writing. It is an unprecedently intimate account that reveals sides of her that were unknown, but the voice is unmistakably hers—questioning, courageous, and clear in the face of a wrenchingly painful journey.
Blue NightsBlue Nights
In November 1999, Joan Didion began seeing a psychiatrist because, as she wrote to a friend, her family had had “a rough few years.” She described the sessions in a journal she created for her husband, John Gregory Dunne.
For several months, Didion recorded conversations with the psychiatrist in meticulous detail. The initial sessions focused on alcoholism, adoption, depression, anxiety, guilt, and the heartbreaking complexities of her relationship with her daughter, Quintana. The subjects evolved to include her work, which she was finding difficult to maintain for sustained periods. There were discussions about her own childhood—misunderstandings and lack of communication with her mother and father, her early tendency to anticipate catastrophe—and the question of legacy, or, as she put it, “what it’s been worth.” The analysis would continue for more than a decade.
Didion’s journal was crafted with the singular intelligence, precision, and elegance that characterize all of her writing. It is an unprecedently intimate account that reveals sides of her that were unknown, but the voice is unmistakably hers—questioning, courageous, and clear in the face of a wrenchingly painful journey.
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3.5
““The history of everybody's 20s and 30s, after all, is one of the awareness of doors closing.“
This was one of the more intimate reads I think I’ve had in a long time. It feels strange to perceive someone’s life in such a visceral way, as Didion often allows us to do in her writing. Only this time, it centers around a tiny portion of her life (2 years) as opposed to her other essay collections that often span decades in between.
I wish for a kind of relationship that Didion had with her own daughter, in which she confronts her preconceived notions about the pride of being a mother. Her communication, correspondence, and transparency with both John and Quintana is something that I truly admire, coming from an unconventional family. Really puts into perspective how drastic her life had turned out to be mere years later, in 2003, when both John and Quintana passed away from medical problems.
In an interconnected web of Didion literature, Notes to John makes sense of the web that connects Blue Nights and The Year of Magical Thinking. And that is the woman herself, Joan Didion. However, even after all of these thoughts, it feels as though I’m violating her privacy, as this was something never meant to be seen by anyone else outside of her immediate family, as always, with her writing being as intimate as it could be.
I hope to one day retain my sense of self and lucidity once I’m of old age, if ever I get to find myself in that position.
“There’s an ambivalence in every intense relationship. The ambivalence is what makes the relationship intense. You love, you hate.””
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