4.0
Never a Girl, Always a Boy
ByPublisher Description
Jeremy Ivester is a transgender man. Thirty years ago, his parents welcomed him into the world as what they thought was their daughter. As a child, he preferred the toys and games our society views as masculine. He kept his hair short and wore boys’ clothing. They called him a tomboy. That’s what he called himself.
By high school, when he showed no interest in flirting, his parents thought he might be lesbian. At twenty, he wondered if he was asexual. At twenty-three, he surgically removed his breasts. A year later, he began taking the hormones that would lower his voice and give him a beard—and he announced his new name and pronouns.
Never a Girl, Always a Boy is Jeremy’s journey from childhood through coming out as transgender and eventually emerging as an advocate for the transgender community. This is not only Jeremy’s story but also that of his family, told from multiple perspectives—those of the siblings who struggled to understand the brother they once saw as a sister, and of the parents who ultimately joined him in the battle against discrimination. This is a story of acceptance in a world not quite ready to accept.
By high school, when he showed no interest in flirting, his parents thought he might be lesbian. At twenty, he wondered if he was asexual. At twenty-three, he surgically removed his breasts. A year later, he began taking the hormones that would lower his voice and give him a beard—and he announced his new name and pronouns.
Never a Girl, Always a Boy is Jeremy’s journey from childhood through coming out as transgender and eventually emerging as an advocate for the transgender community. This is not only Jeremy’s story but also that of his family, told from multiple perspectives—those of the siblings who struggled to understand the brother they once saw as a sister, and of the parents who ultimately joined him in the battle against discrimination. This is a story of acceptance in a world not quite ready to accept.
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Meet readers like you in the Fable For You feed, designed to build bookish communitiesNever a Girl, Always a Boy Reviews
4.0
“I'm so grateful I was able to finish this book in 2022 as it has become the most informative, perspective-changing book I have read all year. I would give this book 6 stars and I highly recommend each person read this book, including my own family.
I am now going to carefully try to articulate my review which is completely my own. I am open to alternative opinions but I will not argue with anyone based on opposing viewpoints.
First, I would like to say, prior to reading this book I would have considered myself an ally of gay/lesbian/bisexual community. I would say that I have a transgender cousin M-to-F but I still didn't "get" it though I accepted who she is. I would also say, that I have no problem with people being transgender though I believe that only people 18 and over should be "allowed" to take hormones and begin to transition. I realize now that I have been bigoted and I have discriminated against transgender people.
This book has actualized a trans persons journey and their family's journey and kind of demystified transitioning. Prior to reading this book, I thought of transitioning as a person waking up and deciding they all of a sudden want to be a different sex. I thought of The Bathroom Bill as men wanting to be a woman for the day or moment just to have access to the women's restroom. Thoughts that I now know are ignorant. I guess in my mind it was ok to be gay and have sex with whomever you want but changing your sex was unfathomable. It's like changing your race. You can't, it's finite. No matter how much I may want to be Asian or Hispanic, i can only be African American. And i can't tell anyone I'm anything but African American. Babies are born either male or female. There is no in between or neither, it's one or the other. I have learned now that gender is more fluid and that transitioning just makes the outside match the inner thoughts and feelings. I am own to the possibility of people being born in the wrong gender body.
Prior to reading this book, I didn't understand the difference between being a tomboy like Jo, Jeremy's mom and being transgender. I was a tomboy growing up. I had 3 brothers in our house. I wanted to dress like my brothers. Play sports with my brothers. Watch the boys shows. I even wondered what it would be like to have a penis or what it felt like to have sex with a girl. I'm sure i said i wanted to be a boy. But by high school and my first real boyfriend that went out the window. I knew I wanted to be a girl. And I stayed to dress like a girl. Act more ladylike. Started dating boys. But again, now I understand, that transitioning goes deeper than being a tomboy. Its about feeling different. About thinking different. About having dysphoria about your body and transitioning is about what the person sees matching what they think and feel.
I still don't agree with children taking hormones or changing pronouns. I know that a child's brain is still developing until around 21 years old. I think that for example, if my daughter told me at 6 that she thought she was a boy and wanted to play with boys toys, and wear masculine clothing and even cut her hair short I would be ok with all of that. But I personally draw a line at drugs and pronouns. At 6, that is much too young to make a decision that will affect the rest of your life without being completely sure it's the right choice.
Jeremy and I are the same age. What if a doctor put me on hormones in elementary or middle school? How would that have affected my life now? I disagree with giving kids drugs or surgery to change them. After 18, if you still feel that way, I will support you.
The book did not answer if Jeremy is still asexual and aromantic but I assume that he is since he is the only one not mentioned as being in a relationship.
It is gonna take more reading for me to understand the topic better but I appreciate the bravery of the Ivester family with sharing their story with the world. Again I highly recommend.”
About Jo Ivester
Jo Ivester spent two years of her childhood living in a trailer in Mound Bayou, where she was the only white student at her junior high. She finished high school in Florida before attending Reed, MIT, and Stanford in preparation for a career in transportation and manufacturing. Following the birth of her fourth child, she became a teacher. She and her husband teach each January at MIT and travel extensively, splitting their time between Texas, Colorado, and Singapore.
Other books by Jo Ivester
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