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Coming July 3, 2023
Me: Ask me what happens in Vegas…
Samantha: What happens in Vegas?
Me: Let me tell you.
What happens is that you get “make out with strangers and pee in a parking lot” drunk.
TIE THE KNOT WITH A GUY YOU JUST MET.
Then *allegedly* participate in depraved group activities with him and his friends in the honeymoon suite of a five-star hotel.
But that’s not even the worst part.
Because after an epic walk of shame, you find out he’s some insanely famous bad-boy quarterback who’s in the midst of cleaning up his act.
So now, you have to pretend to like him… sober…until you can skip town with an annulment and a shirt that reads, “I’d hit that.”
Except for bam—tiny hiccup, his personality cancels out his hot AF face.
And let’s not mention how you definitely took a trip to pound town with his friends.
So, yeah. That’s what happens in Vegas.
You get Knot so Lucky even when you think you hit the jackpot.
Me: Ask me what happens in Vegas…
Samantha: What happens in Vegas?
Me: Let me tell you.
What happens is that you get “make out with strangers and pee in a parking lot” drunk.
TIE THE KNOT WITH A GUY YOU JUST MET.
Then *allegedly* participate in depraved group activities with him and his friends in the honeymoon suite of a five-star hotel.
But that’s not even the worst part.
Because after an epic walk of shame, you find out he’s some insanely famous bad-boy quarterback who’s in the midst of cleaning up his act.
So now, you have to pretend to like him… sober…until you can skip town with an annulment and a shirt that reads, “I’d hit that.”
Except for bam—tiny hiccup, his personality cancels out his hot AF face.
And let’s not mention how you definitely took a trip to pound town with his friends.
So, yeah. That’s what happens in Vegas.
You get Knot so Lucky even when you think you hit the jackpot.
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