But What Will People Say?

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By Sahaj Kaur Kohli, MAEd, LGPC

Publisher Description

“This wonderful book is a compass, a blueprint, a mirror, and a friend. Kohli gives language to what many of us feel but can’t yet articulate.”—Erika L. Sánchez, New York Times bestselling author of I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

“Loving, culturally informed, and holistic... [Kohli] compassionately shares her own story, and guides readers through the nuances and pain of assimilation, individuation, and mental health. How I wish I had this book back when I was trying to figure it all out for myself!” —Ramani Durvasula, PhD, author of It’s Not You

A deeply personal, paradigm-shifting book rethinking traditional therapy and self-care, creating much-needed space for those left out of the narrative

Writer and therapist Sahaj Kaur Kohli grew up knowing exactly what it means to straddle multiple cultures at once. Like many children of immigrants, she has often found herself plagued by questions: Can I establish my own values and embrace where I come from? Is prioritizing my mental health really rejecting my culture? How do I set boundaries and care for myself when family and community mean everything? Even after becoming a therapist herself, she saw those same gaps in the mental health world, leading her to wonder, like so many children of immigrants: what about us?

While conversations around mental health are becoming increasingly open, our models remain largely Eurocentric and focused on individuality. Sahaj has sought to challenge these long-held models, using deep personal reflection, therapy, community building, and a whole lot of trial and error, eventually navigating her own way to understanding and acceptance. Here, she shows us how to get there, all the while reminding us that personal healing is inextricably connected to collective healing.

But What Will People Say? elegantly weaves together personal narrative, anecdotal analysis, and comprehensive research. Sahaj offers advice and tools for everything from navigating generational trauma, guilt, and boundaries, to breaking down stigmas around therapy and celebrating cultural duality. Democratizing and decolonizing the way we think about mental health and self-help, Sahaj’s incredible work is nothing short of a revolution.

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7 Reviews

4.5

LiterapyNYC

Created 25 days ago

“For Bibliotherapy, this book addresses the question: How can I honor my family, culture, and community while still creating an authentic life true to who I really am? 🌻 ‘But What Will People Say’ provides us with resources, tools, narrative reframing devices, personal stories and more that help shed light on the truth of what healing requires: COURAGE. It was this book quote at the end for me: “At my wedding my Dad’s speech centered around my bravery.” 💪🏽🥹 This is book medicine for children of immigrants and really anyone on a healing journey who wants to learn more about the intersection of mental health and identity.”

Characters change and growEasy to readOriginal writingThought-provokingSexual assault

Iffer

Created about 1 month ago

“I found the Brown Girl Therapy account on Instagram several years ago, and nearly everything on it was relatable, either for me or someone I know. It was incredibly powerful to feel seen and not alone. This book expands on the concepts that the author explored in her social media and several previous articles, interweaving her autobiographical vignettes as examples for the broader topics covered. I especially appreciate the ways in which the book points out the necessity for flexibility in best practices for self-care and mental health for bi-/multicultural individuals and/or children of immigrants. The books flows surprisingly well, especially considering the combination of stories, concepts, and self-help exercises.”

Easy to readThought-provoking

Priya Gandhi

Created about 1 month ago

Beautifully writtenEasy to read

NiennaVarie

Created about 2 months ago

Reviewed in:Readers Who Run w/the Wolves

Beautifully writtenDescriptive writingOriginal writingThought-provoking

Daly818Butterfly

Created about 2 months ago

“I am so thankful for this book. This book helped me understand the journey I’ve been on for the last 40 years. It helped me see clearer the struggles my parents went through. I kept being reminded of my inner child and how much she needed to be nurtured and cared for.”

Reviewed in:Readers Who Run w/the Wolves

Beautifully written

About Sahaj Kaur Kohli, MAEd, LGPC

Sahaj Kaur Kohli, MaEd, LGPC, is the founder of Brown Girl Therapy (@BrownGirlTherapy), the first and largest mental health and wellness community organization for adult children of immigrants; a licensed therapist; and a columnist for the Washington Post’s advice column “Ask Sahaj.” Sahaj’s words and work have been featured in Today, Good Morning America, CNN, TED, The New York Times, HuffPost, and more. Sahaj also serves as a consultant, educator, and international speaker. She has sat on panels and delivered workshops and keynotes for nonprofits, higher education institutions, and the White House, Amazon, Google, athenahealth, Merck, JPMorgan Chase, LinkedIn, and UNICEF, among others. This is her first book.